Garrett Gomez could still ride. He could still win. And for a long time, that helped him believe everything was still under control.

In this candid conversation with biographer Rodolfo Alvarado, Garrett recalls the terrifying Arlington Park spill that left him seriously injured, his return to racing while drinking heavily, and the dangerous illusion of being a “functional alcoholic.” He could work, compete and appear fine to everyone around him—even as the distance between looking all right and being all right continued to grow.