Garrett Gomez knew the party was over. He just couldn't make himself leave.

In this unflinching conversation with biographer Rodolfo Alvarado, Garrett recalls the darkest period of his addiction—weeks-long runs of cocaine, methamphetamine and alcohol, sleeplessness, paranoia, and the frightening realization that the life he once considered a party had become a prison. Even after asking Pam and the Winners Foundation for help, Garrett discovered that wanting to escape and being able to walk out the door were two very different things.